


Cool (the Soul Evans dictionary)

by Setkia



Series: dictionaries [1]
Category: Soul Eater
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Soul's Dictionary, Soul's POV, What He Means When He Says Stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2019-06-14 05:49:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15382041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Setkia/pseuds/Setkia
Summary: When he says "aren't I cool?"what he really means is "aren't I enough?"





	Cool (the Soul Evans dictionary)

He wonders if she understands him after so many years of partnership.

When he calls her " **Tiny Tits"** it's so he doesn't start waxing poetry about her hair, or her figure, or her eyes, or her skin, or her legs (he could compose _symphonies_ about those legs and if he’s honest, he already has).

When he says " **Blair's hot",** it's because she is. She has curves and an impressive rack, her wardrobe is eye-catching, her actions are provocative, her very _being_ is sexual. He’s pretty sure that's what she's aiming for. To be eye-catching and ensnaring to men everywhere, to be as appealing as possible to as many people as possible. And she is.

If he says " **Blair's hot",** Maka thinks he's saying she isn't.

He is.

Because she isn't hot.

Maka Albarn has never been, nor will she ever be, hot to him.

That's because when Soul thinks of Maka, he thinks of **beauty**.

Soul thinks of ash blonde hair and large green eyes. He thinks of schoolgirls' uniforms that shouldn't work anymore at this age but somehow do and pigtails that would look ridiculous on anyone else, but make her shine. He sees legs that go on for miles, creamy skin that seems to be so perfect without any effort and combat boots and a dark cloak that flutters in the wind. He sees white gloves and school sweatshirts, and knee-high stockings. He sees a lean body without any curves, but agile limbs that are so flexible, she instantly wins any game of Twister. He sees small, almost invisible freckles dotting the skin, and hair that doesn't have any bounce or wave but is still stunning anyway.

When he says " **I won't play"** , he means " _I don't want you to hear it_ " because he’s always hated his music.

When you come from a family of musical prodigies and have an older brother like Wesley Evans, you learn to be humble early on. He knows his music is dark. Wes’ music will lull you to sleep, while Soul’s is the soundtrack to a nightmare. His music is the worst side of him and he doesn’t want her to see that, _can’t_ let her see that, but he’s weak and she ends up hearing it anyway. He always ducks his head when it’s over, because it’s not good, it’s terrible, and yet she seems happy (it just proves her naivety).

When he says **“my Meister”** , he hopes she understands that he’s bragging about her, and he doesn’t think of her as _just_ his Meister. He hopes that after all these years, she’s figured out that she’s his closest friend, that he depends on her in a way he didn’t think he could ever depend on anyone, and trusts her in a way that he never dreamed of being able to.

When he says " **you don't need to meet Wes"** he hopes she knows it's not because he likes being cruel, because he can see that she really does want to meet his brother, but Wes is the perfect child, always has been, always will be, and Soul doesn't want her to realize she's been settling for second best. He’ll hide Wes away from her forever if that's what it takes, because he’s selfish and he wants to monopolize her, make sure she never realizes she’s made the mistake of choosing the lesser brother.

When he says " **it's the soul that matters",** he hopes she knows he means it. Because he does. Soul comes from a family of aristocracy. He’s used to liars and fake smiles. She approached him, and he knows she didn’t give a damn what he looked like, with his appearance scaring off so many people, there’s no way she came to him because he looked inviting. It's all about what's underneath. He knows if the way she deflates whenever she talks about how Tsubaki got asked out again and starts measuring her bust is any indication, it hasn't gotten across to her yet.

When he calls her " **bookworm"** , he hopes she knows he's complimenting her. She can sit in a library for hours on end, just reading, swept away from reality, escaping into her own world where no one can reach her. He wishes she would take him with her on one of her journeys around the world in 80 days. Reading is her escape, the same way music is to him, and he’s glad that she has something like that for when the world gets too much, as it so often does. She's so smart and he knows he doesn't tell her enough and he's always using harsh words, but he thinks she's brilliant.

When he says " **stop reading"** , what he really means is " _come back to me",_ because she's so far gone into her own head that she doesn’t notice anything around her. He's seen her walk into poles because she's too wrapped up in the pages of a novel, and while he thinks that's amazing, if not for her safety, than for his own sanity, he needs as to be on Earth with him.

When he says “ **never mind"** , he hopes she knows he _does_ plan on telling her, just not now. He’s not ready yet because opening up your soul to someone is a long and hard process, and he can't promise he'll always be okay with being that open, but he's trying. She needs to be patient, but he’s getting there and one day he’ll know he can tell her anything and everything and he will. He doesn’t like the thought of keeping secrets from her.

When he says " **bitch to me"** , what he really means is " _you can confide in me",_ because Maka has so few people she tells everything to, and it's hard to go through life without someone to share your burdens with. Soul would know. Before Maka, he had no one because Wes never felt like a safe option, and he knows that's a horrible thing to say about his own brother, but it's true. He wants to be her confidant because what she says _matters_ and someone is always listening, even if it’s about petty things like a pesky 98.

When he says " **I'm Soul"** what he really means is " _I'm not your dad"_ , because he's _not_.

He'd never be as uncool as Spirit Albarn, and he plans on proving it to her whenever he can. She took a risk taking him as a partner, instead of going the safe route and getting a female one. Sometimes when he thinks about their partnership, he’s in awe that they’ve formed a bond as strong as they have. She’s so brave for taking that step, considering what her father’s done to her and the fragile trust she originally had in him has grown into something beautiful and he hopes she knows he treasures and reveres it as much as she was hesitant to hold her hand out to him at the start. He is never going to give her a reason to regret her decision.

When he says " **I'm stupid"** he’s saying he was wrong, though it pains him to admit it. He doesn’t always say it immediately, but he makes sure he says it when he knows he’s done something bad. It’s where Spirit went wrong. The Death Scythe never knew when to admit to his imperfections, he always tried to be better than he was. Soul doesn’t do that, won’t do that to her, and it’s always better to say it sooner rather than later because it never feels right to lie to Maka, especially since she has spent her whole life being lied to by men.

When he says " **I promise"** it’s only when he knows he can keep it, because he never wants to let Maka down, not like her father did. He wants to be as dependable as he possibly can, because that's what Maka deserves, a rock that can keep her steady, not fight for her, not shelter her, but just something for her to fall back on, the same way she's a rock for him, giving him the space he needs, but also making sure he knows she's always there. He never wants her to be disappointed in him, and he wants her to know that he never feels like he has to sugar coat things for her, that if he’s hesitant, if he’s unsure, he won’t placate her with false words of encouragement because he can be transparent, unlike Spirit.

When he says " **here's your coffee"** he wonders if she realizes that she never tells him the way she wants it.He's spent so long watching her, memorizing the little things about her, like the way she twirls the little ends of her hair when she gets tired, or the way she'll cross and uncross her legs when she gets anxious during a test, knowing her coffee order is just another small fact in his catalogue of Maka.

When he says " **you're not PMSing, stop exaggerating"** it's because he knows she's literally not PMSing, because first of all, he thinks it's a stupid thing that people use as an excuse to bitch about women, and secondly, because he kind of maybe knows her cycle. It’s always handy to carry around womanly products just in case an emergency happens. The stuff he gets isn’t great, he doesn’t know what she prefers, but it’s a quick fix if they’re off on a mission and she miscounts the days. It’s good to be prepared.

When he says " **I won't go easy on you"** he means " _I trust you can handle yourself"_ because he doesn't want her to ever think he doubts her strength. He doesn’t want her to think he underestimates her, because she has spent her life being underestimated by men, who think she’s not strong enough, not smart enough. He’s not sexist, he doesn’t think she’s some damsel in distress. More often than not, she’s saving _his_ ass because his mind is a scary place and he can get lost in there many times, way too often and it's scary when it happens but then she pulls him out and it's like he can breathe again.

When he says " **you eat like a pig"** it’s not an insult. It's an observation, because she really _does_ eat like a starved animal. She chews loudly and though her mouth isn't open, she stuffs a lot in there, resembling a chipmunk, and if you get her riled up in debate before she bites in, she'll talk with her mouthful and she likes to eat huge burgers. He loves it. Tsubaki eats small salads that leave her wanting, but Maka snorts milk out of her nose when he tells a joke. She’s not so elegant, and it’s refreshing after so many years of stiff women with polite manners who always said the right things. Maka doesn't even know what a shrimp fork is.

When he says " **you're stuck with me"** he wonders if she knows he’s being serious. He doesn't know if he could ever open himself up to another person the way he has with her. He knows he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t think he could ever achieve Soul Resonance with anyone else, and he hopes she realizes that he's never going to leave her, that she can always come back to him because hell if he wants to work with those Meisters who think they can handle him, or think they're better suited to fight with him because they couldn't be more wrong. If she doesn’t though, he doesn’t mind. He’ll remind her.

When he says " **I'm sorry"** it's because he is. It’s not enough to admit that you’re wrong. Having a bond as great as he and Maka doesn’t mean you don’t need apologies. He’s sure if Spirit could say it himself, put his pride aside and apologize for the unintentional trauma he made his only daughter go through, maybe their relationship wouldn’t be as broken as it is. 

When he says " **aren't I cool?"** what he really means is " _aren't I enough?"_ , because he's not sure what more he can do to prove he isn't her father, and he's dependable and reliable and he'll treat her right and she doesn't have to worry about anything because he's taken strikes straight through the chest for her and he's not sure what else he can say or do to get her to notice him the way he notices her.

When he says " **you're cool"** he's saying he notices the small things she does.

The way she likes a particular side of the couch over the other, the way she likes to splash in the puddles after a heavy rainfall, and still reads the comic section of the newspaper. He knows she tucks in her shirt, but never bothers to fix it if it falls loose. She could work at the library if she wanted, and knows the shelves better than the woman behind the desk. He knows that even though she says she doesn’t like Blair, she’ll buy cat food anyway and makes it easy to access. She writes reminders on his arm in Sharpie when he sleeps, a to-do list of sorts, and a reminder of the last time he showered. She hates folding the pages of books, and uses anything as a bookmark and if you open her paperback too much, she’ll hit you with a hardcover because now you’ve ruined her _system and you owe her a new one_ even though there’s nothing wrong with the original copy. She chews on her pencils when she gets anxious, and hates doing her nails but will gush appropriately whenever Tsubaki comes back from the spa. She tries different hairstyles in the mirror, before reverting back to the usual pigtails because there’s a part of her that’s scared of change. She tried rolling her skirt once, and felt so uncomfortable she fixed it within two minutes. She likes to have a dozen mini marshmallows in her hot chocolate and spells words in her alphabet soup. When she gets bored, she makes cootie-catchers, but she sucks at origami. She says she couldn’t care less about his comic books, but she’s read them, and he’s seen her cover her ears when he talks about the latest issue with Black*Star to avoid spoilers. She sticks out her tongue when she’s focusing, she can jump double-Dutch, and she doesn’t flinch when it’s dissection time in class, but show her an animal being hunted on the Animal Graveyard channel and she’ll hide in his shoulder. She likes the popcorn kernels more than the popped corn, puts excessive amounts of butter on her food, and prefers salty things to sweet. She has her Mama’s old cookbook and she gets really nostalgic when she brings it out, refusing to let him touch it. She listens to motivational videos on YouFunnel, and she can play Blackjack with an unbreakable poker face. She hums songs from the 30s under her breath and loves horror movies even though they terrify her.

When he says " **you're cool"** what he means is " _I love you”_.


End file.
